if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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