Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Randomize
