I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize
