wrigley field is MILF paradise
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
