Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Randomize
