you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
