I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
