toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
FUCK WHALES
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
