This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Pants 0. Shit 1.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
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