so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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