party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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