we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
