Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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