Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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