if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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