If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
