That's intense
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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