so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
