ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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