so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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