he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
