either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
