Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
