you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
