weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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