We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
