Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
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