If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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