hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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