your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
