I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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