If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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