i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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