I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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