i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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