Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize