my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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