"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
