Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
