you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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