Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
