How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
