it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
