I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
