I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
only you would photoshop your dick
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
