I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize