Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
