u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
