mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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