so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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