I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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