He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
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