so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
