Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
