Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Your cock deserves a montage
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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