At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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