He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
