if i can run in heels then i can drive
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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