I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
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