O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize